I haven’t needed to write in 2 weeks — it’s not that I haven’t wanted to — it’s just I haven’t experienced the urgency to put my feelings down on this metphorical paper.

But it’s 5:30AM, I’ve been woken up by the nurse already, and we have 2 days before CJ is here.

There’s lots on my mind.

After spending a week in the hospital on bedrest, I wish I could tell you it’s been this great spiritual journey for me. I wish I could say I’ve picked up my Bible and have had great communion with Jesus.

I haven’t.

I wish I could say I have been really intentional with my one-on-one time with CJ: talking to him, being present with him.

I haven’t.

In fact, I think this week was unproductive. I’m not sure I’ve done anything of real value. Maybe it feels like a week of waste.



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Kasey Carmona

Wife to Cort. Mama to two boys. One with HLHS. Welcome into our journey of heart and hope.