Apr 16, 20212.13.212.13.21 I haven’t needed to write in 2 weeks — it’s not that I haven’t wanted to — it’s just I haven’t experienced the urgency to put my feelings down on this metphorical paper. But it’s 5:30AM, I’ve been woken up by the nurse already, and we have 2 days…1 min read1 min read
Jan 31, 20211–31–21 | Brave1–31–21 | Brave It’s a matter of days and weeks until we meet CJ. Most of the details are lined up: we have housing for family, a schedule for Teddy. We know more of what to expect for our sweet son’s glorious entrance. And, the honest truth of it is…1 min read1 min read
Jan 26, 20211–25–21 | Heaven on Earth1–25–21 | Heaven on Earth I am sitting in the honor and weight of women from across the globe praying for CJ. As my sister aptly named our time together as “heaven”, I am now thinking: We really did just bring heaven to earth through that zoom session by: Friends…1 min read1 min read
Jan 22, 20211–21–21 | Sticking with God1–21–21 | Sticking with God CJ is coming in a matter of weeks. No longer months, weeks. Our son is coming into the world! What joy! At the same time, what sorrow awaits as we prepare our hearts for all his little body will endure those first weeks of life. …1 min read1 min read
Jan 16, 20211–16–21 | The Great Continuum1–16–21 | The Great Continuum One human limitation is being bound by time. In so many ways, time doesn’t feel on my side. I count down the days until my next hospital visit, the weeks until we will be induced, the one year mark of Teddy’s birthday. And then there’s…2 min read2 min read
Jan 12, 20211–11–21 | Hands1–11–21 | Hands Tonight, I am feeling my favorite part of pregnancy — the tiny little hands of my son pushing from within me. I rub my hands gently over my protruding belly only to be greeted by my son’s delicate fingers. It is incredible, really, to think in a…1 min read1 min read
Jan 11, 20211–10-21 | The Miracle1–10-21 | The Miracle I’m really struggling with this idea of a miracle for CJ. The miracles we read about in scripture are incredible — Jesus has the healing power to do anything. I’ve had that childlike faith for so long. And yet, in this scenario, I’m afraid to have…2 min read2 min read
Jan 7, 20211-7-21 | Sip & Smile1-7-21 | Sip & Smile I sat on the rug in Teddy’s room while he giggled, toddled, and played all around me while I ugly cried. Sobbed. Grieved. Totally lost it. Sometimes it’s the little things that cause the biggest amounts of pain. I had a realization this morning that…1 min read1 min read
Jan 5, 20211-4-21 | My Job1-4-21 | My Job In my fetal heart echo today, the sonographer alerted me of our son’s heart rate. When he quickly realized I didn’t know what he meant, he replied “Oh, some moms want to know everything and track everything.” As to which I quickly rebutted: “Well, I don’t…1 min read1 min read
Jan 4, 20211.3.21 | Nesting1.3.21 | Nesting Between the new year and the contractions, I am feeling this impending birth. Something in my spirit is telling me to get ready!! I didn’t think I wanted to do much for CJ. I didn’t think there would be that much to do. But in some ways…2 min read2 min read
